When you’re writing a college admission essay, you may feel the pressure to tell a story that’s impressive, inspiring or unique. But some of the most meaningful stories are also the most personal. Maybe you’ve experienced a family challenge, struggled academically, dealt with a difficult relationship, experienced loss or navigated another sensitive situation that shaped who you are.
Writing about these experiences can be powerful, but it can also be difficult to know how much to share. Here are a few things to keep in mind when deciding whether and how to discuss a sensitive topic in your college admission essay.
You Don’t Have to Tell Your Hardest Story
First, remember that you are never required to share something deeply personal just because it happened to you. Your admission essay should give colleges insight into who you are, but there are many ways to accomplish that. If writing about a difficult experience feels uncomfortable, overwhelming, or too private, choose another topic. You don’t owe an admission counselor your most painful experience.
Instead, think about the experiences--big or small--that have influenced the way you think, learn, connect with others or see the world.
Focus on You, Not Just What Happened
If you do decide to write about a sensitive experience, remember that the essay should ultimately be about you. It’s easy to spend most of the essay explaining what happened. However, admission readers are less interested in simply knowing that something difficult occurred and more interested in understanding how you responded, what you learned, how your perspective changed or what the experience reveals about you.
For example, rather than spending an entire essay describing a challenging family situation, consider what that experience taught you about responsibility, communication, resilience or your relationship with others.
A useful question to ask yourself is: “What do I want a college to understand about me after reading this?”
Be Honest Without Oversharing
There’s a difference between being authentic and including every detail. You can write honestly about a difficult experience without providing graphic, highly personal or unnecessary information. In fact, leaving out certain details can sometimes make your essay more effective. Think about what information is necessary for the reader to understand your story and what might distract from your larger message.
If you’re unsure whether something belongs in the essay, ask yourself: “Does this detail help the reader understand me or am I including it simply because it happened?”
Consider Who You Are Writing For
Remember that your admission essay is being read in the context of your college application. If there’s important information about a circumstance that affected your grades, activities, or opportunities, there may be other places in the application where you can provide that context.
Your personal essay doesn’t necessarily need to explain every challenge you’ve faced. Sometimes the strongest essay is the one that gives the reader a different perspective on you than the rest of your application.
Before You Hit Submit...
Once you’ve finished your essay, read it again and ask yourself:
Does this essay tell the reader something meaningful about me?
Am I focusing more on my experience and perspective than on the difficult event itself?
Have I included only the details that are necessary?
Does the essay sound like me?
Would I feel comfortable knowing that an admission professional is reading this?
Most importantly, write the story you feel ready to tell, not the story you think colleges want to hear.
Your college essay doesn’t need to prove that you’ve overcome the biggest obstacle imaginable. It simply needs to help a reader understand something genuine about who you are. Sometimes, that means sharing a difficult experience. Other times, it means choosing a completely different story.
There is no single “right” topic. The right topic is the one that allows your authentic voice, perspective and personality to come through.
Written By: Jessie Beeman, Senior Assistant Director, Office of Undergraduate Admission